For J.A.C.K.

Hey kids,

I’m sure I don’t say it enough, but I love you very much.

If I’m disappointed in you, I love you.

If you’re mad at me, I love you.

If I’m telling you to do something, I love you.

If I have to punish you, I love you.

If you’re being good at the moment, I love you.

If you’re being bad, I love you.

My love is not dependent on how I feel about you.

My love just is.

Tags: I Love You Very Much

Hey kids,

This is an important life lesson.

Perception is what you think someone means when they say or do something. Say, for example, I tell you we are going to breakfast on Saturday morning. There are several things that could mean.

1. You could think that just you and I are going. I could mean everyone is going.

2. I could mean breakfast, like actually in the morning, and you could think it is when you finally roll out of bed.

3. You could read into that where we are going to eat.

4. You could assume how we are going to get there.

5. You could assume you will not have to wash dishes for your food.

There are plenty of other things you will perceive from that one statement. Our perceptions are based on our experiences. For instance, when you say mom always or mom never…that is not true. No one always does anything. What you mean is that in your opinion it happened enough that you think it is likely to happen again. For example, you have never had to wash dishes when you went out to eat for your meal….yet … so it is reasonable to think that you will not have to do that in the future.

Where perception gets you in trouble is when you judge people’s actions without understanding their intentions or why

1. Mom works too much. What you don’t understand is why she does it. If you understood then you would thank her instead of being mad about it.

2. He lied to me. Yes, lying is wrong, but why he did it is important.

3. She didn’t clean her room. Yes, that’s obvious. But why didn’t she?

Why gives you important information. Why is especially important with people you love. People who love you don’t tend to try to hurt you. When they do hurt you it is usually accidental or they didn’t know how important something is to you or they were venting or they felt bad about themselves or something else.

One lesson I learned long ago is that there are 3 sides to every story. There is your side. There is my side. Then there is the truth. The truth is always somewhere in the middle …and that is because no two people perceive things the exact same.

Tags: perception

Hey kids,

If you want respect, give it.

It’s a simple lesson that is not easy, but has huge rewards for you. Even if you just give respect for selfish reasons…your life will be a lot easier if you choose to do so.

This lesson applies to everyone…adults and kids, boys and girls.

It’s like when you plant a garden. If you want tomatoes, you don’t plant weeds. If you want tomatoes, you plant tomatoes. Some of the tomato seeds you plant get dug up by animals. Some of the seeds you plant get blown away by the wind. But some of the seeds take root and in a couple of months you have a delicious tomato.

Respect is the same. Saying one respectful thing does not create a climate of respect. But acting respectful towards others will result in them being respectful of you in time. Water your respect and watch it grow and soon you will have the respect you want.

Or you can dig your heels in, sit and wait for the other person to do it first and in 6 months and a year and 5 years still be in the exact same spot you are in right now. The choice is yours.

If you want respect, give it.

Tags: Respect

Girls,

We love you very much, but you scare the crap out of us. shhhhhhhh

Someday you will understand this song from the other end.

Listen to the words very carefully.

Tags: Cool, I need a drink, Martina McBride, rolls eyes, Teenage Daughters

The other day I was talking with my hands down favorite 13 year old. All the kids had been watching a tv series about gymnasts. We were talking about her doing gymnasts and how much it would cost and what type of commitment it would take. She asked me if I would check into different gyms and see what they offered.

Then she said the wisest thing I’ve ever heard from a 13 year old. She asked me not to check into a particular gym because that is where all her friends go. I asked her why. She responded that if she was going to do gymnastics she wanted to focus on gymnastics and not be distracted by her friends.

That is just plain wise. And there is nothing that can stop this girl. I’m telling you.

1. She knows what she wants.

2. She knows what her weaknesses are.

3. She’s smart enough to remove temptation so her weaknesses don’t interfere with that goal.

I wish I had been that smart at 13. Heck, I’d even take it at 35. Very proud of you sweetheart!

Tags: temptation, weakness, wisdom

Here’s how to find the strength to get back up. Never. Quit.

Tags: finish strong, never quit, strength

Hey kids,

Nothing quite measures a man like his power tools. Guys know this and women need to understand it…it is not free to have a guy do a home improvement for you…you MUST buy (or rent) him or let him buy the perfect, big, powerful, hoss of a power tool for every single job. Yes, a regular screw driver will work, but no, I NEED at least an 18v 1.5 HP cordless drill to put up those $3 blinds. That’s just the way it is. Now get used to it.

And welcome to the Wonderful World of Power Tools J. You are officially inducted! You did a most excellent job drilling and hooking up things for mom yesterday. You are a wild man!

Tags: Power Tools

Hey kids,

I have a secret. You girls…you are the most beautiful girls I know…except for your mama.

You boys…you are strong and courageous and fearless. I admire the men both of you are becoming.

I have another secret…none of this is a secret. Now the entire internet knows and already anyone who knows you knows these things.

I’m proud to be in your lives. Go do great things! I know you can.

Tags: I Have A Secret

Hey kids,

You are not meant only to survive. You are destined to thrive. I see it in you. I see it in each of you.

When you have a set back whether it is big or small, pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Try again. There is nothing you cannot do if you will just refuse to quit. Along with that you need to refuse to listen to anyone who tells you you can’t. Refuse to listen to the negative. That is one of the hardest things to do. But I believe in you. Mom believes in you. And no matter what happens or what you dare to try, we are in your corner.

Tags: garth brooks, Standing Outside The Fire

Hey kids,

Sometimes we adults have to make hard decisions because we know that is what is best for you. That does not mean we like the decision. In fact, it usually breaks our hearts. But if we did not make those hard decisions we would not be showing you how much we love you. We love you so much we are willing to be the bad guys. We love you so much there are some things that we just cannot let slide. We love you so much we have to let you experience the consequences of your actions.

If we didn’t let you experience consequences we would cripple you and doom you to a life that would be a lot harder than it should be… because a lot of times when you are an adult there are no do overs.

When you think of today I want you to remember that a night of pleasure is not worth the long term consequences. As you progress through your teen years you will have many opportunities for nights of pleasure. Many of those nights will promise the greatest pleasures you can imagine and fulfill exactly what you think you want at the moment. Those nights can bring you babies or drunk driving charges or even death. There are no do overs from those.

Today is a hard day. But learn from it. Resolve to be the kids I know you are. Believe in yourself again. And learn to discipline yourself so we don’t have to do it for you.

I love you very much.

Tags: I Love You, Making Hard Decisions